Scarface Air
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Scarface Air
Scarface will make you a Man
I have never seen Scarface. That is harrowing and brutal truth. I am a man, yet, for all the gun toting, explosion riddled action films I have seen, I am still to see the most praised action classic of them all, and I shall pay the price for it. I often imagine myself standing up in front of a circle of others with the same dark secret. They all look up at me expectantly waiting for my confession. It is met with reassurances that together we can work through it. But, once you’ve admitted that you’ve never seen Scarface (and admitting it is the first step), your chances of ever seeing it, fade to nothing. Nobody owns it. Nobody rents it. So either you’ve seen it or you haven’t, and those that haven’t will always be that little bit less of a man.
There comes a time in every man-friendship (a friendship or friendships between men) when something must be established, “Have you seen Scarface?”. The answer to this question is as important as the ones you get at airport check in. Answering the question, “Did you pack your bag yourself Sir?”, with a light-hearted; “I only packed the cloths. My friend Osama was in charge of the explosives”, will, undoubtedly, result in your swift arrest and interrogation under genitalia based torture... Answering these sorts of questions correctly ensures your manhood stays intact.
This year I’ve been living in a house with 7 other sporty guys, where there is so much testosterone in the air that breathing in too deeply will get you pregnant. As a consequence our household DVD collection has a death tally so great that new numbers would have to be invented to reach the total. A few weeks ago, a group of us were relaxing in the living room, and “Scarface is such a good film” was suddenly released upon us, so, like a group of kids playing some bastardized form of musical chairs, my housemates were quick to add their own words of praise. The music had stopped and the ‘kids’ were all sitting comfortably on their manly, Scarface-chairs, waiting for that odd, diabetic kid that eats glue and has to be excused from PE (you’ve all known one), to inevitably reveal himself as the loser. I had no such man-chair. So this time I was that kid, having been knocked out of the game, being sent off to the stationary cupboard to raise his blood sugar levels with a chocolate hobnob.
Fortunately, I have a friend in the house who sits with me, cross legged on the floor, eating pritt-stick, and who is equally as unknowledgeable about Scarface as I am. Unfortunately, on this side of the Scarface/no Scarface divide, dwells a completely different extreme of film fan, who, with the utterance of a single sentence, has the power to completely estrange himself from the male race altogether...“Have you ever seen High School Musical?”...
About the Author
2Pac Ft Scarface - Feel It In The Air (DJ Veli Remix).