Doris Day

Doris Day

The John Dory, Barbao

In the Garden under the Sea

With just 50 seats and not much aisle, and given its elite gastropub provenance, born out of Spotted Pig with April Bloomfield at the stove and Ken Friedman wheeling about out front, John Dory will not be easy for mere mortals to crash. I got lucky. Our dinner buddy knew someone. That’s how Tuesday we sailed into the perfect storm of restaurant critics (click here for a roll call) that has Friedman speed-walking backwards and sideways trying to look cool while the chef dispatches exquisitely briny tidbits from the kitchen as well as the smoked arctic char mousse “amuse” to spread on fried parsnip chips.

It’s safe to predict you’ll want to come by too, not just because you’re masochistic and need to go where you can’t get in, but because the sea creatures are impeccably fresh and mostly good and the place is funny and finny. Seashells glued on mirrors. Whimsical fish in stained glass and illuminated Lucite underfoot, on tiles, and live in a giant aquarium that divides the space and is reflected in mirrors.  Even a shy yellow eel wakes up when Friedman tosses the fish their scallop lunch into the tank.

“Best fed fish in town,” says Joe Bastianach (with Mario Batali, consulting partners here and at Spotted). Bastianach stands at the bar, a sleek ninja of the dining room, sipping wine, hooded eyes watching for flare-ups.  “But the fish don’t get the scallops with pomegranate,” our server notes, referring to a $16 crudo.

She’s a jaunty Hepburnesque dame, elegant, flip, impressive, knows the history and geography of every dish. In fact, the staff seems remarkably well-coached here, right down to the chap hustling excellent bread.  Minced ginger heats up the eloquence of stunningly firm yellowtail crudo at the perfect temperature. Chopped and marinated razor clam seviche nests in a small bowl against a bright green garlicky sauce with scallion and chive.

For those bruised by sudden unemployment and portfolio distress, prices may seem forbidding.  Oysters are $4 each and those sensational crudos and appetizers start at $16 and run to $20 for a counterculture steak tartare, with the exception of an unpleasant swamp of escarole salad at $14.  Grilled octopus with celery, fennel and bottarga at $20 is big enough to share but the critter would be better with a caramelized edge. Lemon zest and barely cooked spinach give youth to that old warhorse, oysters Rockefeller.  I’d go for the luscious oyster pan roast with sea urchin butter crostini for the same aggressive price tag and not give one bite to anyone.  A skimpy portion of John Dory with salsa verde ($28) is cruelly overcooked for my taste. But I’d be back for sensational seared squid plumped full of chorizo rice stuffing with beans, crème fraîche and a tomato vinaigrette. Wine by the glass comes in quartino carafes.

On a whim, I chose a side for my main course, “Jensen’s temptation” – scalloped potatoes with onion, not as lush as I expected. I’m curious now to go back. This is a first tasting report after all. I’m eager to try the fish stew and pan-roasted cod with mantecato (Venetian cod paste), chili and artichoke chips.  A food writer friend reports that the black pepper Dungeness crab is delicious, torrid and messy – a two napkin  challenge. Sounds perfect to me.

Desserts like treacle pudding, cider jelly with cardamom cream, something called eccles cake with Stilton cheese seem lost in translation, but our shared quince almond tart with ginger ice cream, meager at $11, leaps the cultural divide.

Given all the hard surfaces, with only Black Watch plaid fabric lined banquettes to absorb sound, it’s some kind of acoustic miracle that we can actually talk and hear ourselves. “It’s basically a bar and a counter next to the kitchen, like Momofuku, except the seats have backs,” Friedman says. “Some people can’t handle the noise at the Spotted Pig so we hired this expensive acoustics guy to help us keep the sound level low. And I’m wearing socks.”

BarBao

Introducing neighborhood friends to the sensational Vietnamese food at BarBao, Steven and I have been back twice in ten days. Michael Huynh, the wandering chef, now a partner, is still in the kitchen even though he must have taken some time off to help his wife Thao Nguyen open Baoguette, a small sandwich and noodle shop at 61 Lexington, between 25th and 26th Streets.

BarBao’s designers have been finishing collages overhead and in strips between beams on the walls and tonight the bar-lounge has its old-time Saigon look intact.  A second bar  lounge in the rear is finished too with just one table occupied on Saturday night.  I can’t understand why the place isn’t jumping till I go on line and discover that Yelpers (Yelp.com) don’t like the food. Is that an internet consensus? Who are these people?  The vox populi of the plastic fork set?

I’m just going to assume you’re reading this because you trust me.  Tonight I try not to be too bossy, but I’m eager to share dishes I love: The sensational summer rolls (I wish they came with with herbs and lettuce wraps), lush short rib on lemongrass skewers, and salt and pepper sweetbreads with a pickled peach. My favorite duck hash with mellow chunks of daikon pancake and a perfect poached egg to pierce with a fork has all of us swooning.  We ask for an extra lamb chop so everyone can drag a rare lamb lollypop through cilantro salsa. Tonight we’re tasting Tiger shrimp salad with shaved fennel rather than the usual peel-and-eat chili shrimp I like even better.

The Road Food Warrior and I focus on small plates not just because I’m an infamous pinch penny but also because starters seem more Vietnamese than main courses – which aren’t really that expensive at $16 to $27 for a whole red snapper.  Grilled American Wagyu hanger steak, Mekong Delta seafood clay pot, and bean-curd glazed black cod with preserved lemon are favorites. Vietnamese churros with sesame and two dipping sauces is the chef’s newest fusion. These are a bit greasy.  A better choice is kabocha squash flan with water chestnut tapioca and red wine puree or pandam (vanilla) flan with Chinese red dates and gingko nuts.

BarBao is exactly what I hoped for in the Upper West Side restaurant renaissance and it’s half a mile from my pad. If only they would deliver.

Copyright Gael Greene, 2008

About the Author

travel & food writer

Could you write an interesting story and include these Doris Day Titles?

Doris Day titles:
With Six You Get Eggroll
Move Over, Darling
Lover Come Back
Where Were You When the Lights Went Out?
Send Me No Flowers

Dodge City, Kansas
Circa 1875

"She's A Calamity, Alright!"

"Now come on , Miss Kitty. Pleeease join Matthew,Ol' Doc,Burke and me for dinner at the new chinese Restaurant. Shucks.....With Six You Get Eggroll."

Kitty pondered this. "Wait a minute. That only makes FIVE of us."

Festus shuffled his feet and looked at the floor. "Well, now.....Sunshine will probably want to be with us, too."

Kitty made a face. " Let me get this straight. First you want me to eat chinese food that is cooked by Fidanka Elissaveta,who, by the way, is BULGARIAN!!! .....AND....You expect me to digest this culinary disaster with the very person who makes my stomach CHURN!!!!!! (Bonus) The Thrill Of It All escapes me!!"

Just then Burke,Doc and Matt walked into the Long Branch.
"Let's get this show on the road. I'm starving....and Festus is PAYING!!"chuckled Doc as he reached for a toothpick.

Festus swung his head around. "Doc. I never said any such thing and you know it!!"

Doc looked at him. "In polite society, when someone issues an invitation to dinner, it is customary that he foots the bill."

Matt and Burke laughed. Kitty was too busy searching for a Zantac to settle her stomach to react.

"Doc....Ya old SCUTTER!!" Festus trailed along with the others as they made their way to Fidanka Elissaveta's House of Chinese Cuisine.

CUT TO COMMERCIAL

"Mmmmmmm....Let's see....Everything looks good," muttered Doc as he glanced at the menu.

Kitty looked perplexed. "How on earth would you KNOW!!! I can't understand any of this!!! Half of it is in Bulgarian and the other half looks like ants crawling across the page!!"

Fidanka Elissaveta glared at Kitty.

Just then, Sunshine came zooming into the restaurant! "Sorry I'm late,everybody." Matt smiled broadly. "Move Over, Darling."
Sunshine giggled as Matt made room for her.

Kitty popped another pill as she watched Matt and Sunshine wooing and cooing.

"Matt? I've been meaning to ask you. Last week when we had that big storm, and we were in the middle of that card game....Which ,if I may point out, you were LOSING......
and the wind blew out the candles.....Where Were You When the Lights Went Out? We couldn't find you ANYWHERE!"asked Doc.

Matt turned red as he hemmed and hawed. "Well, Doc..... I was ....Hmmmm....Let me think...."

Sunshine piped in. "He was with ME!!! He snuck out the back door ."

Kitty broke in."And where were YOU?!! Waiting in the back street ?!!! HA!!!! You probably were, you alley cat!!!"

Sunshine burst out laughing."Gawd, you really slay me, Red.
No.No. He just saddled up and came on home."

"Humph!! (BONUS) The Magnificent Fraud of it all!!!! said Doc.

Fidanka Elissaveta brought the tray of food to their table.

"What's THAT?" asked Kitty as she stared at Festus' plate.

"I hope it's (BONUS) Billy Rose's Jumbo Shrimp smothered in catfish juice."

"It looks more like Billy Rose's fingertips smothered in BLOOD!" remarked Doc.

Sunshine spit out her Moo Goo Gai Pan in a fit of laughter.

Just as Matt was about to take a bite of dinner, gunfire could be heard. He jumped up from the table and headed outside.

"Lover Come Back !! Wait for MEEEEEEEE," shouted his ever-loyal girlfriend, Sunshine. "After all, we're (BONUS) The Winning Team !!"

(BONUS) "It's a Great Feeling to have you on my side, Sunny. (BONUS) Lucky Me ," said Matt as he held the door open for her.

"I HOPE THEY SHOOT YOU SUNSHINE!!!!" screeched Kitty.

Sunshine smiled as she twirled her gun. "Well,if they do.......
Don't Send Me No Flowers.....I'd rather have chocolate covered raisins and a bottle of Asti Spumante!!!"

"That girl is a MORON, I tell you. An ABSOLUTE MORON!!!"
said Kitty.

Doc smiled. Well....She's (BONUS) Young At Heart and madly in love in Matt."

"She reminds ME of (BONUS) Calamity Jane," said Burke.

"She's a CALAMITY, alright!!! ....................
THE CALAMITY FROM HELL!!" screamed Kitty.

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Kitty....... http://www.clipartof.com/images/clipart/thumbnail2/17618_angry_caucasian_woman_in_a_red_dress_and_heels_swinging_a_wooden_baseball_bat_after_someone_really_ticked_her_off.jpg
Festus ..... http://comp.uark.edu/~tsnyder/gunsmoke/images/jpgs/festus.JPG
Doc ....... http://www.testytoads.com/milburn/images/main/doc.jpg
Matt ...... http://yuma.tv/images/matt.jpg
Sunshine ...... http://www.dorisday.net/assets/images/Story-of-Calamity-Jane.jpg

Hee HAWWWW !!! That was fun!!

Doris Day - Dream A Little Dream of Me